Reality or Perception?

Reality or Perception - Black and White Images of Two Heads

Have you heard the phrase: “All life is rooted in perception?” How each of us view reality is determined by how we perceive things. It’s all about perception… It’s true that we don’t see the world as IT is, we see life how WE are. Is it reality or perception? … Read more

The Dangers of Denial

The Dangers of Denial - The Word Denial

Denial, defensiveness, distortion, and dismissal are all part of the narcissistic framework. Denial serves a purpose, in the case of childhood abuse or neglect, as it provides protection against situations that are overwhelming to the child. In adulthood, however, denial leads to broken relationships, distortion, and a refusal to accept … Read more

What Is Traumatic Bonding?

What is Traumatic Bonding - White Frayed Rope

Trauma bonds are emotional bonds that form over time between a victim and their abuser. These invisible tethers are created, and cemented in place, from a recurring cycle of abuse. This cyclical abusive pattern is perpetuated, via a system of rewards and punishment, referred to as intermittent reinforcement. What is … Read more

Triggers and Trauma: What’s The Connection?

Triggers and Trauma - Woman Crying

Hey there, What is the relationship between emotional triggers and trauma? The first thing we must understand is that even after separating yourself from a stressful situation or person, you’re still going to get triggered. This is because emotions are stored in the body. They don’t just magically disappear once … Read more

5 Reasons Christians Should Be Saying Biblical Declarations Every Day

Biblical Declarations - Glasses and Candle On Open Bible

Biblical declarations, also called biblical confessions or proclamations, are a powerful form of prayer. What are biblical declarations? They are simply taking what God has said in the Bible and making a statement out of them in the first person.  This is how Bill Johnson, lead pastor at Bethel Church, explained … Read more

What Are The 5 Es of Narcissism?

What Are The 5 Es of Narcissism - Cat Looking At Reflection of Lion

I’ve had many people ask me how they can determine whether or not they’re dealing with a narcissist. As narcissists tend to play by the same handbook, here are clues that can help you identify if the toxic person in your life is showing signs of narcissism. What are the … Read more

Object Constancy & Narcissistic Defense Mechanisms Explained

Object Constancy - Mother Hugging Son

Object constancy is a term taken from Psychodynamic Theory, which explains the ability of a healthy person to view another person in an integrated light as someone who possesses both good and bad qualities. It is the ability to view someone, whom you know and love, in a favorable manner … Read more

What Is An Existing Ideology Of Resentment?

An Existing Ideology Of Resentment - The Word "Guilty" in Red

Have you heard the term “an existing ideology of resentment?” You may not have heard the term, but if you’re living with a narcissist, you are most certainly living it. It goes something like this: If someone has already decided to hate you, NO MATTER what you say or do, … Read more

Emotional Abuse IS Physical Abuse

Emotional Abuse Is Physical Abuse - Black and White Image of Girl With Hand Over Eyes

I often hear people comparing the effects of emotional abuse to that of physical abuse. In reality, emotional and physical abuse are just two sides of the same coin. Keep reading to find out why emotional abuse IS physical abuse. People with personality disorders use intimidation and manipulation to control … Read more

How Do We Come To An Understanding Of Suffering?

Understanding of Suffering - The Words Meaning of Life

How do we come to an understanding of suffering without defaulting to the trite response “This must be God’s will?” Below are a few thoughts I heard Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar, say about this weighty topic. When asked to what degree God is involved in suffering, Rohr answered that, … Read more

What Is The Difference Between A Narcissist & A Sociopath?

Between A Narcissist & A Sociopath - The Word "Emotions" On Board

What is the difference between a sociopath and a narcissist? The sinister coldness of sociopathy is thought to arise from congenital deficits in the area of the brain that houses emotional input, and one’s ability to interact in a normal way with others. Compare this anatomical abnormality to the lack … Read more

Will Living With A Narcissist Ever Get Easier?

Living With A Narcissist - Woman Sinking Underwater

I hear the following question a lot in my business: “Will living with a narcissist ever get easier?” The short and succinct answer is “No!” And not only will it not get better, it will undoubtedly, get worse. People with personality disorders are unstable, erratic, unpredictable, and incapable of regulating … Read more

Stop Wasting Your Time On People Who Aren’t Worth It

Stop Wasting Your Time - The Words Let Go

In today’s email, I’d like to share some powerful words by Anthony Hopkins where he makes the admonition to stop wasting your time on people who aren’t worth it. He goes on to say: ′′Let go of the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest … Read more

Ending A Relationship Is NOT Easy

Ending A Relationship - Isaiah 30:21 Quote

Ending a relationship, and moving on with your life, is not easy. It takes a lot of courage and fortitude to move away from the familiar into uncharted territory. I’ve found that reframing helps… Instead of viewing the situation as losing something, think about it in terms of what you’ll … Read more

Spiritual Warfare 101 [What To Do When The Devil Attacks]

Spiritual Warfare 101 - Satan with Wings

The demonic realm is real. Even if many today don’t want to acknowledge that fact, or talk about it, the truth remains. This truth is clearly demonstrated throughout the Bible. In this post, about spiritual warfare 101, I’ll be listing the weapons of warfare talked about in Ephesians 6, and … Read more

Praise God For The Warriors In Our Lives

Praise God For The Warriors - Bee on Red Flower

I read this story today and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. Praise God for the warriors in our lives who help rescue us from the sticky messes life throws our way. “My dad has bees. Today I went to his house and … Read more

How To Be HAPPY Alone On Valentine’s Day

How To Be Happy Alone On Valentine's Day - Roses and Black Diamonds

Valentine’s Day can be a tough day for many reasons. It can be unusually taxing if you’re dealing with a narcissist. Follow these tips on how to be happy alone on Valentine’s Day. If you’re in a toxic relationship, you’ve had to learn how to live in a minefield and … Read more

Freedom From Trauma & Abuse [How To Become Unbroken]

Freedom From Trauma - Woman With Tree Superimposed On Head

In today’s post, I’ll be talking about how to obtain freedom from trauma and abuse, how to be healed, set free and delivered from the wounds that have shattered your soul. In essence, you’ll learn how to become unbroken. Freedom From Trauma Trauma is the broader definition of what is … Read more

Are You Carrying Heavy Burdens That Make Your Arms Ache?

Are Carrying Heavy Burdens - Glass Half Full Of Water

In today’s post, I want to address the topic of stress. We all feel it, don’t we? The stresses and annoyances of everyday living. It’s just part of being alive and living on this planet. The thing about stress, though, is we can reduce its effects by changing how we … Read more

How To Communicate With A Man Who Doesn’t Hear You!

How To Communicate With A Man - Purple & Green Funhouse

How To Communicate With A Man Who Doesn’t Hear You! Have you ever wondered how to communicate with a man who doesn’t hear you? Here’s an explanation on why narcissists react in such an unreasonable manner. Narcissists react inappropriately because an event, a word, or a look was triggering in … Read more

Discerning The Jezebel Spirit

The Jezebel Spirit - Man With Mask Half On

Discerning The Jezebel Spirit The following is an except from an article by Reverend Marie Berbick of Touching Your World Ministries where she underscores the importance of discerning the Jezebel spirit and how to deal with it. “Unfortunately, many Christians are unaware of the most dangerous form of spiritual destruction, … Read more

Tender Warrior: When Men Get It Right Everybody Wins

Tender Warrior - Man In Silhouette Praying

Tender Warrior: When Men Get It Right Everybody Wins “When men get it right in their walk with God, everybody wins, and when men get it wrong everybody pays a price.” This quote is taken from Stu Weber’s beloved book “Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s … Read more

Does God Give Us More Than We Can Handle?

Does God Give Us More Than We Can Handle - Woman By Lightening

Does God Give Us More Than We Can Handle? Does God give us more than we can handle? I know we’ve heard that He doesn’t, but did you know that that sentiment is not actually biblical in the way most of us understand it. Just look at people who are … Read more

How To Deal With TOXIC People During The Holidays

How To Deal With Toxic People - Lighted Star With Snow

How To Deal With TOXIC People During The Holidays The holidays are a special time of year as we celebrate our Savior’s birth. Unfortunately, Christmas can be a mixed bag of emotions for many people as they deal with relationships that are less than healthy. I’m sure many of you … Read more

Necessary Endings & New Beginnings (My First Christmas Alone)

My First Christmas Alone - Sun Filtering Through Trees In The Woods

Necessary Endings & New Beginnings [My First Christmas Alone] It’s been a year… That’s the understatement if there ever was one. Last year marked the end of my marriage, and along with it, the end of an era. My divorce was finalized last April, I sold my house of 17 … Read more

The Narcissist Stare & What It Means

The Narcissistic Stare - Green Eyes On Cat

The Narcissist Stare & What It Means Toxic people are experts at subtly controlling those they’re closest to. One such method of control is the narcissistic stare, which is meant to communicate ridicule, hatred, and contempt. Sounds super creepy, right? It is. Keep reading to find out why… The Narcissistic … Read more

What Does Fawning Mean? [Are You Guilty Of This?

What Does Fawning Mean - The Words I Love You

What Does Fawning Mean? [Are You Guilty Of This?] What does “fawning” mean? Fawning is one of the four types of responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) caused by trauma, notably childhood trauma. This can include physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse. These learned responses often carry over into adulthood, influencing … Read more

What Is Soaking Prayer & Why You Should Make Time For It

What Is Soaking Prayer - More Soaking, Less Talking Graphic

What Is Soaking Prayer & Why You Should Make Time For It What is soaking prayer? Simply put, it’s setting aside time for intimacy with God, with the purpose of experiencing His manifested presence. You don’t have to worry about if you’re doing it right. There are no rules. Neither … Read more

Trauma and Brain Function [3 Ways Abuse Damages The Brain]

Trauma and Brain Function - Picture of Human Brain

Trauma and Brain Function [3 Ways Abuse Damages The Brain] Have you ever wondered how PTSD, phobias, obsessions, hyper-vigilance, pervasive trust issues, addictions, and eating disorders develop? You’ll better understand how these conditions arise by recognizing the connection between trauma and brain function. Here are 3 ways chronic abuse can … Read more

What Drives Narcissistic Devaluation & Dismissal?

Narcissistic Devaluation - Sign That Says Time To Say Goodbye

What Drives Narcissistic Devaluation & Dismissal? Narcissists use psychological compensatory mechanisms to protect their fragile sense of self. They use these stances to compensate for something that is missing, namely, a core sense of self. Let’s unpack what drives narcissistic devaluation. Narcissists lack a core sense of self. Instead, they … Read more

Hydrogen Peroxide Bath Therapy [Healing For Body & Soul]

Hydrogen Peroxide Bath Therapy - Beautiful Tub Against Brick Wall

Hydrogen Peroxide Bath Therapy [Healing For Body & Soul] Soaking in a tub with relaxing music and essentials oils is amazing for reducing stress hormones, for realigning perspective, and for rejuvenating both mentally and emotionally. However, you may as well bring out the big guns while you’re at it, and … Read more

Progress and Goals Are Soooo Much Better Than Feeling Stuck

Goals and Progress - Try Something New Quote

Progress and Goals Are Soooo Much Better Than Feeling Stuck I’m still basking in the relief of being divorced and out of my house. Relief is such a wonderful, life-giving emotion. I highly recommend it. However, to say I was utterly spent and exhausted for days after moving is an … Read more

Personality Disorders and Altered Perception

Altered Perception - Beautiful Eye With Flowers Around It

Personality Disorders and Altered Perception Here’s an interesting fact about Cluster B personality disorders and why the perceptions of people suffering with these disorders is so off kilter. Normal people depend on their eyes to give them feedback about the world around them. They see something and their brains process … Read more

What Does Betrayal Feel Like?

What Does Betrayal Feel Like - Hammer Raised Above An Egg

What Does Betrayal Feel Like? Betrayal hurts. It changes who you are. The way you look at yourself, others and the world is forever altered. What does betrayal feel like? A betrayal wound is an excruciating, overwhelming and unrelenting pain that takes a long time to heal. Betrayal is an … Read more

Moving on After Divorce

Moving on After Divorce - Knudson Home At Christmas Time

Moving on After Divorce Well, I’m officially out of my house and moving on after divorce. It was a grueling, 5-month process that I thought would never end. Two of the offers fell through as we were nearing the closing date. To say I was terrorized is an understatement. Having … Read more

Cold Hard Facts About Covert Abuse

Covert Abuse - Hand Coming Out Of Water That Says Help

Cold Hard Facts About Covert Abuse Here are some cold hard facts about covert abuse. This type of abuse flies under the radar, often getting swept under the rug as the dirty little family secret. The abuse happens in plain sight, while the abuser sits there with an evil smirk … Read more

3 Subtle Signs You’re Being Manipulated & Abused

Signs You're Being Manipulated - Woman in Sad Pose By Window

3 Subtle Signs You’re Being Manipulated & Abused Covert abuse can be subtle and not overtly apparent in many cases. Following are 3 not-so-obvious signs you’re being manipulated. This abuse can happen within a marriage, with siblings, parents or friends, in the workplace, and sadly, even in religious environments. Signs … Read more

3 Benefits of Turning Inward When Life is Tough

3 Benefits of Turning Inward When Life Is Tough - Woman At Lake

3 Benefits of Turning Inward When Life is Tough Here’s the thing about trials – they can teach us a lot about ourselves. Coming out of a long-term marriage, that turned extremely toxic the last 7 years, I took the time to turn inward and examine all areas of my … Read more

Happiness And Health [Could This Be The Missing Link?]

Is There A Connection Between Happiness And Health - Woman in Ocean

Is happiness a missing component in your journey to health? You try so hard to do everything right . You eat a healthy diet, exercise, take your supplements, and get enough sleep –  but you’re still not where you want to be in regard to your health. Is there a … Read more

How To Become More Self Aware [Take The Self Awareness Quiz]

How To Become More Self Aware - The Words "Self Awareness"

Self-awareness is the capacity to examine and sit with your own thoughts and feelings, to see yourself as a unique individual separate from your surroundings. Introspection, self-reflection, and observation are all components of self-awareness. This ability to see yourself plays into your health and well-being. Keep reading to learn how … Read more

How To Believe In Yourself Again After Failure Knocked You Down

How To Believe In Yourself Again - Hands Holding Hearts

Life is tough. The inevitable twists and turns, adversities and challenges can sometimes be too much. It’s easy to second guess yourself and your abilities. If you’ve been hit particularly hard with a recent failure or devastation, your self-concept may have taken what seems to be a fatal blow. Your … Read more

5 Ways To Make Self-Care A Priority & UPGRADE Your Life

5 Ways to Make Self Care a Priority - Woman on Hammock

Is self-care on your radar or are you in survival mode? Many of us today can barely find the time to pay the bills and feed the kids, let alone take time to nourish ourselves both physically and emotionally. When did we get so busy and frazzled that our own … Read more

20 Reasons To Forgive Someone That Has Hurt You

Reasons To Forgive Someone - Outstretched Hands

Forgiveness isn’t easy, it can even feel downright impossible. What you may not know is that forgiving someone that has hurt you deeply is the best way to heal a broken heart. It’s also essential for your health. I know it seems counter intuitive, but it’s true. Here are 20 … Read more

TOXIC: Heal Your Body | Book Review

Toxic: Heal Your Body Book Review - Graphic

I’ve recently read an amazingly informative book that I’d like to share with you today. It’s called “Toxic – Heal your Body from Mold Toxicity, Lyme Disease, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, and Chronic Environmental Illness by Neil Nathan, MD. This book is jam-packed with information from a doctor that has unique … Read more

Escape From The Pain [What Is Addiction?]

chains and padlock on fence

Why would any reasonable person willingly devastate their health, destroy their finances, completely obliterate their reputation, burn their bridges with family and friends, and annihilate their dreams of a productive future. It’s a baffling and difficult concept to wrap your head around. It makes no sense, whatsoever, until you understand … Read more

How To Comfort Someone Who’s Grieving

couple cuddling on boat dock

You have a friend who’s mother just died. You want to support her, be there for her, but it’s a little awkward, and you’re not sure what to say. “I’m sorry” seems so inadequate. I get it. I’ve been there. In this post I am going to share some wisdom … Read more

7 Ways To Self Soothe When You’re Hurting

7 Ways To Self Soothe When You're Hurting - Beautiful Bathroom

Do you know how to regulate your emotions? This may seem like a dumb question, but it’s important to be able to control your emotions, especially in stressful situations. Self-soothing is the ability to regulate your emotions, and remain relatively calm in situations when you’re hurt, upset, or injured. The … Read more

What Is Decision Fatigue? 5 Tips To Lessen The Load

What Is Decision Fatigue - Green And Red Signs That Say Choice

We’ve all been there. The endless decisions we’re confronted with every day is nothing short of astounding. It wouldn’t be so awful if our choices were between black and white. The reality, however, is we’re forced to make decisions involving many shades of gray, making it increasingly difficult to decide … Read more

5 Characteristics Of A Narcissist: The Ugly Truth EXPOSED!

5 Characteristics Of A Narcissist: The Ugly Truth - Man Kissing Himself in Mirror

I’ll bet you’ve heard the word “narcissist” used many times, and in a variety of settings. A narcissist is dripping with entitlement, self-absorption, and conceit. While narcissism does include those traits, it’s much more complicated. I’d like to paint a detailed picture of what narcissism looks like in the real … Read more

How To Heal A Broken Heart & Set Yourself FREE! [20 Tips]

How To Heal Your Broken Heart - Key With The Word Forgiveness

Forgiveness. It’s a big topic, and one most of us don’t talk about. We’d rather keep our anger. This has been me at times. Did you know that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself because it has more to do with you than the person you’re forgiving.  Releasing negative … Read more

How To Become An Expert At Anything

How To Become An Expert At Anything - Girl Playing Violin

It’s a natural desire to want to be good at something. Personal growth, purpose and passion instill immense feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment. Is there a field of study you’re interested in, a sport you’re passionate about, or a musical instrument you’d like to master? An expert is someone with … Read more

What Is A Wake Up Call? [It Can Change Your Life]

What Is A Wake Up Call - Beautiful Sunset

No, I don’t mean a morning wake up call. I mean waking up from the stupor that has become your life. A call to crowd out the complacency and mediocrity that has gradually consumed you. A return to self. Perhaps it’s time for an entirely different path, a new direction, … Read more

Is A Concussion A Traumatic Brain Injury?

Is A Concussion A Traumatic Brain Injury? - Hockey Players

Are concussions the new silent epidemic? The National Institutes of Health states that there are four million sports-related and recreational concussions annually, and that’s not factoring in car crashes and falls, which would increase that number exponentially. The good news is most concussions are mild, with the majority of people … Read more

What Triggers Trigeminal Neuralgia?

What Triggers Trigeminal Neuralgia - Woman With Painful Cheek

Trigeminal Neuralgia is a painful condition affecting the nerves in the face. It’s also called tic douloureux. The human body has 12 pairs of cranial nerves that pass through small holes at the base of the skull. These nerves relay information from the brain to various parts of the body. … Read more

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